wedding weekend
So. Last weekend was WEDDING WEEKEND.
My friends L and A got married in Maun.
L is an American woman, 28, and has been living in Botswana for the past 6-7 years. A is a Motswana man, also about 28, who met L many years ago.
It was a beautiful wedding. Boldly non-traditional, while cherry-picking some of the best aspects of tradition from the various cultures involved.
I wish I could post photos but it really doesn't seem appropriate - a wedding, after all, is one of the most personal events of your life.
The wedding events - for those who were thoroughly involved, like myself - lasted from wednesday till monday. Wednesday we arrived and began cooking/cleaning/setting up - there was no hired help. Thursday was the wedding. Friday was hangover and half-hearted cleanup. Saturday was serious cleanup, and then major afterparty. Sunday was hangover and half-hearted cleanup round two. Monday was final cleanup, dreadlock day (for me), and drive home.
The wedding day:
We woke up at 6:30 in the morning so that we could get to the kgotla by 7:30 when the ceremony began. When you get officially married in Botswana, you must start the process with investigations and announcements several weeks before; then the day before the wedding, you go to the District Commissioner with your witnesses and fill out a bunch of paperwork. The day of the wedding you go to the kgotla along with whoever else is getting married that day, and the marriage officiator gives speeches, hears your vows, and seals the deal. I went along because I was supposed to be the "official" wedding photographer; it was long and boring and it started to POUR with rain. I left early to go back and help the "caterers" (i.e. a handful of friends) who were starting to panic because the ceremony would be over soon, guests would be arriving, and the food was nowhere near ready.
Back at Wedding HQ - R's house, a big beautiful ramshackle place on a big riverfront plot - there was a boiling anthill of activity. We struggled to cook food, put up decorations, and at the last minute move EVERYTHING into the covered kitchen area because the rain was torrential and unrelenting. Amazingly, it all came together just in time and everything looked beautiful when the wedding party arrived.
This was the most beautiful part. M from D'Kar and her small troupe of traditional dancers had come to the wedding to perform, and as the wedding party pulled up the drive and got out of their cars, M and her dancers - in traditional costume - greeted them, singing and clapping and dancing the guests down the drive and into the festivities while we showered them with rice. It was so beautiful to hear the throaty, birdlike singing of the San drawing L and A into the wedding, with L in her brilliant turquoise dress that her mother made and sent from the States, and A's family in their traditional Setswana clothes trailing behind, grinning. At this point I started crying, and kept tearing up intermmitently until the traditional dancers stopped.
We made it to the main patio - it had finally stopped raining - and the wedding party filed in past the trailing rainbow peace flags hanging from the trees, the vases full of peacock feathers and birds-of-paradise, the strings of balloons and colourful tablecloths and dripping trees. Once we were all assembled, the San dancers gave a proper performance, cavorting one by one with the bride and groom, singing and stamping their seed ankle rattles, bringing a piece of D'Kar and a sense of unbridled joy to the celebration.
When they had finished, A's family got up and burst into song - apparently this is part of a traditional Setswana wedding - and began dancing in a circle with the bride and groom at the head of the line. For over half an hour they sang and danced in this endless conga line, harmonizing perfectly on traditional songs, singing about cows and lobola (bride price), relatives travelling long distances, and so on.
Then there were speeches, then a champagne toast, and then the braai!
.. That's all for now, to be continued ..
My friends L and A got married in Maun.
L is an American woman, 28, and has been living in Botswana for the past 6-7 years. A is a Motswana man, also about 28, who met L many years ago.
It was a beautiful wedding. Boldly non-traditional, while cherry-picking some of the best aspects of tradition from the various cultures involved.
I wish I could post photos but it really doesn't seem appropriate - a wedding, after all, is one of the most personal events of your life.
The wedding events - for those who were thoroughly involved, like myself - lasted from wednesday till monday. Wednesday we arrived and began cooking/cleaning/setting up - there was no hired help. Thursday was the wedding. Friday was hangover and half-hearted cleanup. Saturday was serious cleanup, and then major afterparty. Sunday was hangover and half-hearted cleanup round two. Monday was final cleanup, dreadlock day (for me), and drive home.
The wedding day:
We woke up at 6:30 in the morning so that we could get to the kgotla by 7:30 when the ceremony began. When you get officially married in Botswana, you must start the process with investigations and announcements several weeks before; then the day before the wedding, you go to the District Commissioner with your witnesses and fill out a bunch of paperwork. The day of the wedding you go to the kgotla along with whoever else is getting married that day, and the marriage officiator gives speeches, hears your vows, and seals the deal. I went along because I was supposed to be the "official" wedding photographer; it was long and boring and it started to POUR with rain. I left early to go back and help the "caterers" (i.e. a handful of friends) who were starting to panic because the ceremony would be over soon, guests would be arriving, and the food was nowhere near ready.
Back at Wedding HQ - R's house, a big beautiful ramshackle place on a big riverfront plot - there was a boiling anthill of activity. We struggled to cook food, put up decorations, and at the last minute move EVERYTHING into the covered kitchen area because the rain was torrential and unrelenting. Amazingly, it all came together just in time and everything looked beautiful when the wedding party arrived.
This was the most beautiful part. M from D'Kar and her small troupe of traditional dancers had come to the wedding to perform, and as the wedding party pulled up the drive and got out of their cars, M and her dancers - in traditional costume - greeted them, singing and clapping and dancing the guests down the drive and into the festivities while we showered them with rice. It was so beautiful to hear the throaty, birdlike singing of the San drawing L and A into the wedding, with L in her brilliant turquoise dress that her mother made and sent from the States, and A's family in their traditional Setswana clothes trailing behind, grinning. At this point I started crying, and kept tearing up intermmitently until the traditional dancers stopped.
We made it to the main patio - it had finally stopped raining - and the wedding party filed in past the trailing rainbow peace flags hanging from the trees, the vases full of peacock feathers and birds-of-paradise, the strings of balloons and colourful tablecloths and dripping trees. Once we were all assembled, the San dancers gave a proper performance, cavorting one by one with the bride and groom, singing and stamping their seed ankle rattles, bringing a piece of D'Kar and a sense of unbridled joy to the celebration.
When they had finished, A's family got up and burst into song - apparently this is part of a traditional Setswana wedding - and began dancing in a circle with the bride and groom at the head of the line. For over half an hour they sang and danced in this endless conga line, harmonizing perfectly on traditional songs, singing about cows and lobola (bride price), relatives travelling long distances, and so on.
Then there were speeches, then a champagne toast, and then the braai!
.. That's all for now, to be continued ..
posted by Jenn at
8:28 PM
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